Ugly Miley
by Tomatoes
Summary: I know I'm possibly, no SURELY, the ugliest person in the universe. I've learned to adapt and remain unnoticed. No one knows I exist. To me no one exists either...except for her.
1. It's rude to stare

**Brand new story!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. But do I own **_**Miley Cyrus**_**? The world may never know…**

**^^**It's Rude to Stare**^^**

Why does she keep staring at me? The way she does. I can feel her eyes burning through my skin. Piercing. Disturbing. Why can't she just stop? What the hell IS her problem? Sometimes I think that I'm getting a little bit over dramatic. Ridiculous even. I don't care what it was; conceit, self-consciousness or just dumbness, I want to know why she does this. Why every class?

How can she stare at me the whole period and still get to be our valedictorian? Wait, is she? I wouldn't be surprised…she's a genius.

You might ask yourself then why do we share classes. I had this "smart" idea to finish high school with AP credit. The other class we have together is personal fitness. That's right we have two classes together. Four hours of staring. On both odd and even days! Aren't i lucky?

I Mikayla Ann Hartward have two classes with the ugliest person in the world: Miley Stewart. Freak. I mean has she ever seen her face? Has she ever seen a doctor because she must be nearly blind. If I were that ugly I would kill myself. She dresses as if everyday was Wacky Tacky day. I remember I looked so pretty when I was mismatched.

I look hot 26/7 so it's no surprise! By the way I meant to say 26/7 I'm even hot even at nonexistent times. It really doesn't get old. You think I'm playing? Well no! Actually, when I was in my freshman year a guy asked me if I've ever masturbated when I look at the mirror. I actually laughed at that one. Of course I do!

I turn around and Miley quickly turns to her book. This is seriously disturbing. How am I supposed to be passing this test when I'm getting visually stalked for like the billionth time. Seriously why doesn't she just take pictures?

"Ok, class test it's been an hour turn pass your tests to the front." My eyes dart out in disbelief. Nu-uh. I was only on the balancing part. Way to start the year. I already failed the first test. Dear crap all of this is due to that hideous freak.

"Mikayla.." I look up expectant and Mr. Zielinsky points behind me. Oh right, Miley sits behind me. I place my hand over my shoulder and she gives me her test. I pass all of the tests from the row to Zielinsky which was only Miley, that weird skinny kid that thinks he's hot and I. We all sit against the window. It's almost always sunny but hey I get great service. Also we're only about ten or so in the class, and what a nerdy class it is. Ugly nerds.

"Ugh, You guys could have at least tried to do the problems." Excuse me do you have someone staring at you all the time? I think not! Besides, he's not even a good teacher. I have not learned anything the whole…ten days I've been in this class. "Take out some paper we're taking notes." What we just had a test!!! This fucking AP class. Me and my crappy ideas! Why couldn't I just settle for anatomy?

"Here we have manganese, four Oxygen atoms and a iodine yielding to Manganese with a charge of two plus and iodine." Well, I didn't understand anything he just said. He just stands in front of the whiteboard and does his thing. I don't get how I'm supposed to learn. I guess I better get to copying.

Shit I left my paper in my locker. I knew I shouldn't have gotten that mirror installed. Now between classes all I do is stare at myself all day. I guess I'm going to have to do the uncalled for.

"Do you have some paper I can borrow." She jumps a little when she hears me. I don't usually get that. Ugly people are so weird. What now she thinks she's prettier than me? Not in a million years baby.

"Uh--" She hands me a couple of sheets. I return to my previous position.

"I forgot to tell you, It's rude to stare."

**Well I really like this intro. Isn't Mikayla a bitch. She didn't even say thank you. Anyways guys This is a brand new story. Has nothing to do with my old ones. I still have to update on others but well I think I'm going to do this in the weekend. Anyways…**

**You know the drill REVIEW!!!!! **


	2. Perfectly imperfect

**^^**Perfectly Imperfect**^^**

**MILEY'S POV:**

**No matter how hard I try**

**I will never measure up to what you want**

**Because you want perfection**

**The perfect life**

**The perfect boyfriend**

**The perfect everything**

**And I'm not perfect**

**But take a look at yourself**

**You're no where near as perfect as you think**

**So my job is to show you**

**That together**

**Two imperfects**

**Me and You**

**Make something that can only be described as**

**Perfectly Imperfect.**

I really don't know why I'm taking this class. I should have gotten out as soon as I found out it was so easy. I've been done with this test for about an hour. So to not get bored to death I brought my notebook. This you just read was a poem I wrote for her.

Before you go on thinking that I am a freak who randomly writes poems about the cutest girl in school let me give you the background information. I'm actually Mikayla's neighbor. She doesn't know this though. I've lived next door to her for the past two years. Ever since I saw her I thought she was going to be a stuck up pretty girl._** She actually is**_. At school though, I've seen her when she's with her parents and she's not as bitchy as she always is.

I guess she has two faces. The one she is and the one she wants us to think she is. That's what I think of course. Maybe its because I don't want to see the girl I'm crushing as the bitch she really is. Maybe I should just accept it. She would never even become my friend.

A year ago I was brave enough to say hi to her and she acted as if I weren't there. I don't blame her. I'm not exactly what others would call normal. Much less pretty, **Oh I am so far away from that**. I am the female version of Shrek, Fiona if you must. At least that's what Mikayla's boyfriend called me. I actually applaud Jake at least he's creative. Creative and lucky. He gets to be with Mikayla.

Mikayla sometimes thinks that she's a synonyms of perfection. Aphrodite in the flesh. I wish she knew that there's more to perfection than looking like a goddess. It's not that she's dumb it's that when I see her with Jake I know that she's wasting her time. Their relationship isn't stable and they are always in off and on. Breaking up in the pep rallies, making up in the football games.

It's not only Jake that's in her life. There's also a couple of kids like Oliver, David, Justin, Taylor and Nate. Those are the ones she's lasted more than a week with.

If only I could decode her somehow. Know what really goes trough her head. Even though she made it really clear that she knew I was staring at her. She'll probably want to change seats now. When I've finally fulfilled my dream of having a class with her. I wish I was even less discrete. This way I could just be invisible. I could be around her when no one was. When she was alone in her room just thinking of talking to herself I would be there. This way I could see how she lives. I could actually get to know the real Mikayla. She wouldn't want to get to know me so I'm not going to even try. However I could start working on the invisibility potion.

Hey, it's better than writing poems about her!

That was a big waste of time. I bet I got like an A+. I made my way to the lunchroom. I usually just bring a sandwich or something. I really hate the long lines and how everyone's so loud. It's a lunch room not a nightclub. Ugh, I forgot my I.D. now I have to join the slow line.

"She has little ponies on her shirt. "

"Where does she think she's at?" I smile. How indiscrete, although I think they couldn't care less what I think. It barely hurts anymore, kind of like a vaccine. It only hurts at first and then all that's left is the numbness.

Mikayla's here? She's usually never in the lunchroom. She's always in the courtyard or at practice. Wonder what she's doing here. After like half of my life spent in this line I'm finally next. I punch in my student number…4801697875. Why couldn't they just give us easy numbers like 1, 2, or 3?

"What would you like?"

"Pizza." She hands me the greasy excuse for Italian cuisine. If I hadn't skipped breakfast this morning… When I was about to turn around she stops me.

"Don't forget your milk."

"Right, thanks." How could I forget. I really like my milky. I twist the cap off immediately and pivot to leave the overcrowded line, the twins behind me were beginning to be a little rude.

Ninety degrees later I collide with a similar figure. My milk spills completely on my shirt and the "pizza" slaps my face. Instant burst of laughter. I of course found little glee in this and removed the sticky pizza from my face.

Of course Mikayla is trying to hold the laughter in her whilst my face stays staid.

"I'm really ssss--"She covers her face and snickers. Jake is right besides her not only smiling but smirking. Jack--- you don't need to curse. Not ever. "I'm sorry." She squeals laughter in the background.

"Don't be this is the best she's ever looked." Ouch. That kind of hurt. Mikayla rests her head against his shoulder. Well I'm glad I could make their day. I guess I could just get something else. It would take the rest of the lunch hour but I'm really hungry.

I guess not. Way to go bell!!!. I sprint towards the locker room I could just change my clothes apparently I didn't look good in these so what's the difference? I'm kind of lucky that my I have P.E. right now, although I am very hungry.

"Avery?"

"Here!"

"Anderson?"

"Here." 'why did I have to have the stupid last name that starts with an S. I'm like the last one so I have to actually pay attention to Coach Melt.

"…Hartward"

"Here" She groans while she texts. See if it were anybody else they would get in trouble but since its Mikayla who gets along with all of her teachers ESPECIALLY coach Melt, her volleyball coach, she doesn't get in any trouble. She can do anything she wants burn the school, which she did, and get away with it. Oh, the burning incident…I don't know the whole story but she was doing her hair and next thing you know the stalls in building 6 are missing.

Stupid wind. Stupid sun. This disgusting weather in California drives me wild.. Today for example, it's windy and sunny making this only harder. Every Wednesday we have to run a mile under ten minutes. This is the only test that I'm not perfect at because unfortunately my legs are incapable of doing so. Every time the whistle blows I sprint away and get tired a minute later and I'm not even done with a tenth of a mile. Mikayla on the other side is an excellent athlete. Her legs are like sent to torture everyone that's actually trying to focus. More specifically…me.

I hate running,. I hate running, I hate running. I always wondered why we have to take P.E. to graduate. How does being in shape even compare to being smart. My reference…well I am smart and well,enter me in a marathon and see if we won't have to call the ambulance after a minute.. Talking about dead I'm not far from it right now.

I'm almost there. I've gone over the time by three minutes but I'm going to get there. Yes!

"Why did you stop Stewart you have a lap left." What!!! I jog unenthusiastically away. At least I'm not the only one on the track, about half of the class is still on the track.

"hey." I turn to see Mikayla jogging effortlessly be my side.

"…"

"Um I don't want to trip you or anything." I scoff. When is this class going to be over? I jog a little faster this time. Yay! I'm finally getting there, forget Mikayla for now. I want my C. it'll all average out to an A at the end. "Millie."

"That's not my name." The brunette speeds up. Ok this is tiring I turn around and Mikayla falls on top of me. Mikayla lands on me face to face. Hot breath knocking my senses away. Away the went.

* * *

"Please turn to page 58." I knocked on the door and Mrs. Williams looks towards me. "Please open the door Greg."

"Why do I have to open it?"

"Because I could easily fail you, don't give me a reason."

Greg unlocks the door without even trying to open it for me. What a gentleman! To think that when an accident happens to people others treat them nicely. Not in this High School. Did I forget to tell you? I just came out of the nurse's office. Apparently I'm very lucky my skull didn't crack in half…_sure_.

"Ms. Stewart you do not belong in my class anymore."

"Why?"

"You need to see your counselor."

* * *

"Miley Stewart. What brings you here?" Mr. Border is usually so perky. I really like him. He's too touchy though.

"um I don't have a 5th period." She points at a seat next to him.

"Yes, about that. I know that you have all of your credits in order but I think you should take a fifth English class. It'll look amazing for your college application. I'm going to change you to Ms. Lister's class." He faces his computer and I see my name on the screen. A's all over the screen. "Miley did you know that you're going to be our valedictorian? After all you are the first in class rank."

I smiled.

"here you go sweetie." I took the paper from his hands and stared at my schedule. All of my other classes were left untouched. Maybe I'll like this class.

Here goes nothing. I open the door and everyone's eyes are on me.

"Hello. You are?" I handed her my schedule without a reply. "Ok, Miley. Lets see if I could find you a seat" She looks around and stops to the far right. "Sit next to Mikayla." What?

Mikayla immediately lifts her head up and looks at me a little shocked. You're not the only one babe.

**THIS POEM WASN'T WRITTEN BY ME. ALL OF THE CREDIT GOES TO THE GREAT HannahLillyJBfan -APPLAUSE- THOUGHT THIS WAS AN AMAZING POEM!!!! Anyways. Please you guys review. Review are like my own little cocaine. Keep the coming!!! Please? Seriously more "cocaine "for me!!**

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	3. Payback

**I'M WAS GOING TO PUT both MILEY'S AND MIKAYLA'S POV'S. YOU GUYS THINK ITS CONFUSING SO I MIGHT JUST STICK TO MILEY FOR A BIT. AFTER ALL IT IS CALLED UGLY MILEY. **

**^^**Payback**^^**

* * *

**MILEY'S POV: **

"Ms. Stewart will you please sit next to Mikayla? I want to get started on the lesson as soon as possible." I slowly walk up next to a scrubby desk next to Mikayla and she smiles lightly. I ignore her. I do like her, a lot tin fact however, I know how to hide my feelings. That's what I will do with Mikayla. She deserves it.

"Hey" She waves and I face forward. Ms. Lister starts talking as soon as I look up.

"You guys are AP students therefore I will treat you like what you are college students. So if there's any slackers I hope you get out of my class as soon as possible." If that happens how many students are there going to be like 40. She does have a point. "We don't need useless students. Moving on you guys are going to have a lot of projects this semester about ten or fifteen. Depends. For the first part of the--"

"She talks a lot." I don't have to turn to know that Mikayla's giving me her trademark smile. I remain oblivious and listen to Ms. Lister.

"You guys are going get partners. This is going to be your partner throughout the whole year." She grabs the roster from the top of her computer and begins. "Bryan you are going to be with Eva, Jessica and Fred, Greg and Kimonos, Luke and Frances, Stephanie A. and Stephanie P, Miley and Mikayla, Robert and…" Wait I get to be partners with Miley. Yay, don't act excited. I turn and see Miley smile I just nod approvingly.

"I want you guys to exchange number while I print out your first assignment." I didn't realize everyone had join chairs with their partners until I felt Mikayla tap on my shoulder.

"Give me your phone so I could write my number down." she gave me hers and I took mines out of mines. She had an iPhone of course. I hate those, they're so big I have a sidekick though. Maybe I should get a smaller one.

"Here you go. Please don't call me past twelve." She made a "sad" face'.

"Aw, so that means no pranks calls?" I smile a little. "Did you just giggle? Yay!" She fakes excitement by throwing her hands in the air.

"You have no evidence to prove this." Now she giggled.

"I'm sorry about what happened." I faced her.

"Gee, which one?"

"All three. I didn't mean them. I'm really sorry. I want to make it up to you."

"it's OK. Besides I'm still alive and apart from a huge migraine no real harm was done." She was about to talk when Ms. Lister interrupted her. That's why you're going to die soon. Was that a little freaky?

"Here you go." for some reason Ms. Lister gave Mikayla and I the last one. I extended my hand to grab the paper and made friction with Mikayla's hand.

"you take it." She does so quickly as if not wanting to touch me again. That's weird. Did she just get nervous? Well she is with the ugliest thing ever created so I don't blame her.

"Let's go over this for the first and last time. I won't go over any other project and will not answer ANY questions so listen up you don't want to start with an F. I gave you all the title of the book you guys are going to read. You will as partners write a 14-page essay about the book. Then you will bring a visual representation of the book a movie, dramatization, poem anything and present anything you think is adequate. You choose it. Then you guys are going to take quiz depending on your teammate's presentations. This will all be worth one fifth of your nine weeks grade. Consider yourselves lucky last year it was half of the grades. This is due next class."

Just like that she sat down. At least I have something to do on the weekend. Mikayla on the other hand didn't look very pleased.

"Is this a joke?" I smile and make a note to self. Go to Barnes and noble after school.

* * *

A couple of hours later I'm home. Yay! So let me go to sleep. I'm exhausted and I need to start on my essay. Since I can finish it in half an hour I'll just go to sleep. I'll wake up in like three hours and the I will take a shower and get on my essay. I love Friday's!

"Miley!" Well this is just dandy. I can't even rest for a minute can I? I go down the stairs and find my dad sitting on the couch.

"Yes daddy? "

"You remember Jessica?" I nod. " well, she wet on a trip for this weekend. I'll increase your allowance 200% to take care of the mutt until she's back." um, 3000 bucks a month.

"Sure thing dad." He points toward the door and I go see the dog. Oh wow, a Chihuahua this'll be easy.

"Where's the leash dad?" Dad throws it toward me. I wish he could go on date more often. "He really needs it the man is always working and I know he needs a woman in his life.

I lead the mutt out to the front porch and he dart out running. What the hell is wrong with that dog? I run after him probably like a crazy person. I'm wearing a long brown skirt with a turtle nek when it's 100 degrees outside. THIS is why I have no friends.

"You nasty dog where the hell are--"

"Aaah!" crap where the hell is it? I don't even know what it's called and my legs are burning from that Mile I never finish. I follow the scream and turn the corner to find my Mikayla scared to death against the wall. He better not do anything to my woman. She looks so hot when she's scared. Miley to the rescue!!

"Leave her alone." the dog comes towards me and tries to bite me. Stupid dog. I immediately kick it away and send it off to the street. A white Nissan deteriorates the life out of it.

"Oh, my god your dog!" Mikayla walks towards the remains of old…what was his name?

"…that wasn't my dog." Mikayla grimaces. " that was my dad's date's dog. I'm dead."

"Why don't you just buy another one, I'll take you." Wait, what the hell?

"I owe you. Come on." I follow her to her garage. Oh god. I hope dad doesn't notice. Who cares about him. I hope **Jessica**doesn't notice. Stupid me. Why the heck did I have to go and try to save Mikayla? I am no superhero. I'm just super ugly. Maybe that's why the dog ran off in the fist place it was probably like. "_Oh no this girl looks like a demon. I have to run for my life!" _and then I had the guts to kick the dog!

Mikayla opens the door for me from the inside. "Come on." I did and shut the door. Mikayla pulled away. Crap, now Jessica is never going to go out with a guy that has a murderer for a daughter.

We're quiet for like three minutes until she speaks. "Thanks for trying to save me back there."

"Yeah, from an innocent Chihuahua that was barely 15 inches long." She giggles.

"Hey, you never know. That could have been Hitler undercover." I roll my eyes and she her smile disappears. On the inside I was actually dying. She's trying to be funny…to me. See, I told you I can hide my feelings. She probably thinks I hate her. "So…you like dogs." She makes a left.

"I hate them. I hate pets." She giggles again. It's so cute. Every time she giggles I loose a part of memory.

"I would never have guessed, seriously." A smile crawls on my lips and I play with the leather on the car. This is a really nice car. Like fifty times better than my peace of rotten vagina. You think I'm playing? Uncle earl gave it to me and no daddy doesn't want to buy me one so I won't ignore it. It matches me though…we both look like hell. "So…"She looks at me expectant. Oh, she wants to talk. Extremely weird but I'm not complaining. This is the closest I'll ever get to her so great."

"What type of music do you listen to?" that's kind of like a lame question.

"all. You?" She stares at the road before answering.

"I like Beethoven. Classical music." Really. She's lying. I can feel it.

"Really, me too. Do you like Mozart."

"uh, yeah I do."

"How about Montesquieu?"

"Psh, that's my favorite."

"Really?" She nods. "because Montesquieu was a political thinker famous for the separation of powers."

"Oh…I knew that." She cursed under her breath as we pulled over. I got out of the car and walked inside the store.

This place smells like rats. Smelly, stinky rats. Ugh.

"Well, this smells nice." again I stay quiet and walk toward a dog. This is a cute dog. Kind of looks life scrappy-doo.

"Hey look at this one, he's identical to the departed." I turned around and saw a picture of a homeless dog.

"Don't make fun of the dead, that's rude." I stated playful. She grinned. I knew she wasn't as bitchy as she seems.

"How about this one?" I nod. It's exactly like that thing.

"Just as creepy."

* * *

The ride back home was kind of nice. Mikayla tried to make conversation but since I was nervous I ended up ignoring her most of the time. We made it home in about ten minutes but it was getting dark. I really need my sleepy time now.

I open the door and walk out with the mutt.

"You know we haven't named that mutt yet."

I scoff lightly. "How does Mutt sound?" there she goes with her giggle again.

"like its not worth 200 dollars."

"I'll pay you back by tomorrow." she smiled. Well I guess she really wanted her money.

"That's it. Payback."

"I like it but we can't stay with him so what's the use?" She goes serious this time.

"You know I'm sorry about today. I'm sorry that I ran out of gas and couldn't take you home."

"Hey, you got me payback. It's all OK." she doesn't look too convinced. "Besides you left me pretty close to my house. See you later…neighbor." she looks a little dumbfounded. I ran to my house dropping Payback twice and closed the door. Too bad it all had to end so quickly, in reality an hour, I miss her already. What if I kill Payback?

**WELL HELLO THERE SEXY! IT'S OFFICIAL IF YOU READ MY STORY YOU ARE AS SEXY AS MIKAYLA. GOSH ISN'T SHE JUST A...OK LET ME STOP. BUT SHE'S HOT! ANYWAYS..REVIEW GUYS. I', SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! -SOBS- DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND REVIEW**

**PLEASE REVIEW. I'LL POST SOME MORE SOONER! THIS CHAPTER WAS KIND OF NICE. THEY WON'T BE THIS NICE THOUGH....**

REVIREW!!!!! --WHAT DOES THAT SAY? W/E **REVIEW~!!!**


	4. Bathroom pass

**Dude's this is going to be in Mikayla's POV!! I know I kind of have to of have to remind you so there you go. **

**^^**Bathroom Pass**^^**

* * *

**MIKAYLA'S POV:**

I feel kind of bad for Miley now. I'm so glad that I'm not her. Wait, I'm being bitchy again but just listen to my reasons first.

1. She's UGLY. I mean like very ugly. I can't possibly find something pretty about her.

2. She doesn't have friends.

3. People barely notice her.

4. When they do all they talk about is her looking like a beast.

5. She's single. Not even nerds like her want to site near her.

6. I took advantage of her.

Let me just start off by saying that the Payback scheme didn't work like at all. Even since that lady…whatever her name is saw the dog she knew there was something fishy going on and well that's that. I wonder if she's grounded or something. Aw, I would feel bad. Oh well it wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for her to karate-kick that dog. That was her own fault.

Still I feel really bad. This barely happens but every time that I do something to her I feel horrible. Like last weekend when Miley and I had that presentation for Mrs. Lister's class; I completely forgot I even had an AP literature class. Miley on the other had did the whole essay, she instructed me how to do everything and we were the best one to present. I wonder if she went to sleep late doing that essay.

I'm so happy I don't have any classes with Miley today. I don't feel like feeling guilty today. I just need to have a normal day like always. Sometimes to normal, I'm now used to the same things. I go to lunch I get hit on about 7 time per guy, make out with Jake a bit. We have our little feud we always do and then I go home. How boring is this? I want something more exciting in life and I'm not talking about being a whore. I could get a lot of money for that though.

"Today we will cover Implicit Differentiation. Over here I've written the equation of the circle"-He points at the badly drawn circle on the board.

**X2 ****+Y****2****=16**. Nice, a little challenging. Implicit Differentiation. Oh, did I forget to tell you? This is my only true love: math. Why? Because I don't know if you told you but well I suck at writing essay. All throughout middle school I would get essays on what I did throughout the summer. Let me show you a brief example how I did with these:

My vacation was really nicely enthusiastically spending. I went to the mall and made out with my boyfriend. Ugh, why am I writing this stupid assignment? You teachers are so nosy sometimes. Don't you have your own life to worry about? 

In conclusion: Mind your own business Mrs. Gardner.

See? I never was much of a writer. Math on the other hand has no stupid 14-page essay involved. This only is enough to make me fall in love with It but there's more to it than just that. You see I am a person that likes challenge. Since in real life I don't get any challenge at all then I work hard and embrace it. Thus, me being in Calculus AP. This is the only course that I actually earned throughout sleepless nights. I missed parties to study for a test, none of my friends actually understood this, especially Lilly. She's so dumb.

I hate dumb people sometimes, too bad I'm mostly surrounded by them. Nate is an idiot, Jake is the dumbest thing alive and I think Lilly is still debating over the answer of a problem we had in 8th grade

**2X + 2=10 **

I wonder if Miley lf Miley is into math. She looks like she does. I barely get to talk to the intelligent, mostly because they're freaks. There is this guys that sits near Miley that kneels down before the trash can and prays before he throws away his trash. He even says "I have come to give you a humble sacrifice and throws the trash away. If that's not freaky then what is? Walking backwards to school? Eating other people's boogers? Showering with clothes on? I personally can't do that I have to see myself naked. Is it healthy to turn yourself on?

"…and you will end up with **(X-3) dy/dx+y-1=0." **Ok, I just missed the whole fucking explanation. Crap, I should have gotten help for this when I was Twelve. I need to stop the constant wetting of the pants in math. Who the hell gets horny in math? Who? If you do please bring them over so we can find the solution to X together.

Enough of my crappy math jokes its pee time. I ask Mr. Kinsella for a pass and he just waves me off.

Shit I have a test in a week and Mikayla has no idea what she's doing. I guess I'll have to watch a YouTube video on Implicit Differentiation. It actually works you know.

"Hey babe." I'm caught off guard by Nate and jump a little. "Scared ya?"

"Kinda. What are you doing here?" He rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to speak but instead pulls me with him to the girls restroom. Aw, he's so sweet. How did he know I was horny? I've never told anyone that I always come out horny after math class.

I guess he read my mind because inadvertently we made our way to the sink and he lifted me to his height. His lips caressed the skin on my neck while his hands invaded the organs that determine my sexuality. God this feels god. Sure I'm cheating on Jake with his best friend but sharing is caring right? If not then too bad. I'm too good for him. I'm prettier, smarter and Ugh…can't think right now. My legs are wrapped around Nate and his you-know-what is pressing against me.

Nate is so disgustingly amazing in bed. Although I don't think we can exactly call this bed but it'll do. I don't really care where just now, all I want to do is climax right this moment. Nate pulls back a little and pulls a condom out of his wallet. I take it from him and smirk.

"Extra lubricated?"

"Uh-huh." He moans into my neck. Although I don't think we need that you're always so wet." Nate is now puling at his zipper when Miley comes out a stall.

"Shit." I jump off the sink and Nate punches the sink annoyed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nate approaches her and his face is red. "You're always in the **fuc**--" Someone is trying to open the door. Crud, I slap Nate's shoulder and she shuts up.

"Hide." I whisper and he does so in the stall. Miley approaches the door and unlocks it. Administrator Glenda.

"Why did you girls lock the door?" Oh my god still have the condom in my hand.

"I felt lightheaded and was throwing up. Mikayla was helping me." What a great liar.

"How do I know this is true? For all I know you girls could be doing anything in here." I giggle.

"Like--" Miley interrupts me.

"Well I haven't flushed so you can go and check that out." The taller woman pushes Miley out of the way and walks towards the stall. She makes a sound of disgust and flushes the toilet.

"What did you have in your hand earlier?" Oh my god. Shit, the "extra lubricated" condom. I froze again and Miley handed her a pink slip.

"A bathroom pass."

* * *

**SO THERE YOU GO!! Once again in Mikayla's POV. Anyways guys you should like review because like I woke up like early to like post this. Like. =] **

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	5. Cocoboom

_Chapter dedicated to croaker001. You wanted more Mikiley moments right?_

* * *

**^^**Cocoboom**^^**

**MIKAYLA'S POV:**

Remember how I said that I love math? Well I'm rather annoyed right now. Do I sound decent? I never talk like that. Anyways I really can't get this Implicit Differentiation crap. Who knew that AP Calculus would be so…hard?

It's…2:14 a.m. and I'm working on homework, I have two days left but I don't get this freaking crap. Stupid Mr. Kinsella I mean he is so freaking boring no wonder I didn't get anything.

Ok, I'm not even going to lie, math isn't the only reason why I'm up at this hour. That crap with Miley was so embarrassing. I can't believe she saw that. She's probably thinking that I'm the biggest whore in the world. I don't even know how I'm going to look at her in the eyes. Tomorrow I have all my classes with her. Maybe I should just skip school. Yeah, I'll fake like…oh whatever I don't have to explain anything, I'm already 18.

My room is so fucking hot. I don't even know what's wrong with it, I swear its like has menopause. It can be ten degrees outside and in you'd think you're in the Sahara if you were in my room. I should just go outside for a minute, maybe I can figure this out in the cold. Also, I don't want mom to check on me again; like I said I'm 18 years old. Just because she's caught me having sex with Jake twice doesn't meant that she needs to spy for the rest of my life. Talk about over-protection.

I grab a sweater, it'll probably be a little cold outside. After all it's always the opposite of what it feels like in my room. You know, I barely come out to my yard. If I'm even home; it's _so_ boring. Who stays in they're home nowadays? Our grass is well kept, I take my slippers off and walk barefoot on the grass. This is retarded, I'm freezing yet I take my slippers off.

I remember in my old house I loved coming out to the garden and planting flowers. They never bloomed of course but I had some fun.

"I see you're enjoying yourself." I jump back startled.

"Aaah!…Miley?" I almost had a heart attack there.

"Sorry, I didn't meant to creep you out." I leaned in to find Miley sitting on the grass from her side of the fence.

"What are you doing here this late?" I pick up the notebook that fell from my little stunt.

"Can't sleep. How about you?" I sit in front of her in a way that the only thing separating us is the fence. The cold grass wetting my ass. Ha! Now mom has to do more laundry.

"Same here." She nods and pulls at the grass. She then looks at my notebook. "So…about today…thanks." She looks up at me her gaze uneasy. As if she has nothing to say.

"Yeah, I guess I owed you from the Payback incident." I see her smile reminiscing.

"No, I owed you from being bitchy in chemistry, making you fall on track, getting all the food on you and well what just happened." I blushed just thinking about it.

"Ok, that means you owe me four things and you helped me with Payback so that's only three you owe me." She seems to be opening up more but I still feel embarrassed at what happened.

"And I will return the favors, I promise." I see her smile from the other side of the fence. "but seriously, I'm sorry for what happened in the restroom."

She giggles and continues to play with the grass, pulling at it lightly. "Don't worry about it."

"Really, I'm sorry you had to see such a whore-ible incident." I giggled at my joke up until I noticed she didn't laugh.

"Hey meanie, I'm _trying_ to make a joke here." She looks at me expressionless.

"Do you want to owe me even more favors?" I giggle and extend my finger for a 'magic touch.'

"Touché." she does the same shaking her head her gaze still on my notebook.

"What do you have there?" I slide the notebook through the gap on the fence.

"Homework, torture if you ask me." Another joke she doesn't laugh at. Instead she just flips to the page that is marked by my pencil.

"Implicit Differentiation, huh? Where's the torture? This is easy." Show off.

"you have AP Calculus?"

"Passed it on my sophomore year."

"Oh…wow." Way to make me feel kind of stupid. _I passed it on my sophomore year. Jerk._

"Do you need help?" Of course I-- wait. No I don't need help. Why so she can get her little glory moment? Hell no.

"Actually. You've helped me enough already." I stand and leave. I didn't care to think about what se thought. I hurried over to my room and peeked from my window. She stayed in the same position for about an hour or too pulling at the grass. I curiously watched her.

* * *

"Cocoboom!" I turn to the left to find a smiling Lilly.

I smile too, I really love this class when she's here…only. I hate history. I abhor it. I want it do die! Back to my picture. Lilly and I sit next to each other. The teacher is a lazy bum, maybe he was in college and she was like, _'hey I'll just be a history teacher, sure I don't know crap but that's what the textbook is for!' _Just for the record, this class is called War Studies. It's like history just narrower or so it's supposed to. To me this is like a free period. I'm here for two hours and all the work takes us ten minutes to do…if you're mentally impaired.

"You had Cocoboom last night eh?" I reply in a German accent. See Lilly and I were trying to fake an evil German scientist's accent while doing an experiment back last year and we just stuck with the accent. It's sort of like our thing. By the way Cocoboom is sex and Titicaca is masturbation. I don't know if you would have gotten it a lot of people look at us like what the hell are they talking about?

"Oh, I had some great Cocoboom. It was coco-licious." I smiled she's always making up these random words. I love my Lilly, she makes me crack up anytime of the day. See one time she wanted to get revenge on this guy that cheated on her and she set him up so that he ended up sleeping with her transvestite friend. Truscott is seriously out of it. There's nothing normal about her oh and did I mention she's a nymphomaniac? Well, she is she eats, breathes, eats and dreams about Cocoboom. "and _you, _you Cocoboom?"

I shake my head annoyed. "no Cocoboom for me?"

"honey, why no Cocoboom?" It's been a week since the incident and I haven't told anyone. Lilly's different though she's like my best friend, my very horny best friend. "I give you Cocoboom then." She starts kissing my hand and I burst to laughter.

"I was about to get some with Nate--_ I switch my voice back to normal. "but I kind of got caught.

"Kinda"? Oh my god did Jake find out?" I shake my head. Of course not, I would die if that would happen.

"Miley found us in the girls restroom."

"Who the hell is that?" I roll my eyes and continue with my story.

"The ugly one, the one in the cafeteria." She oh's and interrupts me.

"Oh, she no get Cocoboom." I slap her arm playfully.

"We were about to do it when she pops out of nowhere" Lilly makes an exaggerated expression that I ignore. "Then Nate was about to curse her out when suddenly Glenda knocks on the door all suspicious and crap."

"Oh my god you guys had a foursome!" She yelled this and the whole class looked at us now.

"No you fucking dimwit." She's so loud. "Miley actually saved me from getting caught with Nate, she risked getting in trouble."

"Why?"

* * *

The hell if I knew. Maybe she wants me to pay it some other way. Oh my god what if she's a sadistic murderer? What is she is one of those people who kill you to sell your liver and your heart. I like my heart.

Oh, I don't need to worry about that because tonight it Friday and well what's better than a quadruple date? Nothing! It's going to be so fun. I'm going with Jake of course, Lilly is going to go with Oliver. He must be so happy; ever since I met him I knew he was head over heels in love with her. He better put out though…or else he's in trouble. Anyways, Mitchie is set up with Shane. I wonder why…she's sent me like a dozen love notes. That was last year though. Is it possible that she got over me? Ha! I crack myself up sometime. Who gets over Mikayla Ann Hartward? Oh Nate is going with this girl called…Tess?

Nice name. Tess. I heard she's rich too. I know what you're thinking 'why isn't she jealous? Well when you look like this the word is simply prohibited. I have never gotten jealous in my life, I always get everyone I want. It's the rule of life.

It's about seven when I'm finally done with getting ready. I started about half an hour ago; it took me twenty minutes to take a sizzling shower and ten to do the rest. It doesn't take me long to get all pretty. All I have to do is breathe and there you go…instant sexy.

I wore a tight black dress that is like rapidly body. It's so fucking uncomfortable but I look so rapeable. Fuck! Stop looking at the mirror. Maybe just a quickie. I look so fine. Dude, I wish I had a twin. Then we could have hardcore twincest. Sounds kind of lesbic but I am so pretty. That's it I _hav_e to masturbate.

I lift the hem of my dress to work them fingers when Lilly walks in followed by a dazzled Mitchie.

"Wow, you look hot." I stand up and do a little twirls. I then pose.

"Ok, Madame conceited. Ready to leave. The guys are waiting."

I shrug. "Let them wait." Mitchie says stealing the word from my mouth.

"Easy for you to say, I'm starving. Besides, I heard that they are taking us to the Mille Madame. I don't. It sounds French!" I giggle. Haven't I've been there before? Sounds familiar. My family isn't exactly middle class so…

"You go ahead. I'm going to fix my make up." She looks perfect to me. Lilly storms out of the room mumbling after hearing my dad call her name. Dad thinks that she's literally his daughter. He even gave the talk. 'the talk.'

As soon as the door touches the frame Mitchie's lips crash on mines urgent. Ooh, fuck she is such a great kisser. I respond back slowly and she adjusts to my speed for a while. Delicate hands placed on my waist. I gently repel her touch when she tries to glide her tongue inside my mouth. I mean I was already horny before, if I actually let her French me then I am so getting some because I am not patient at all.

"Stop." I whisper whist she places soft lips against my pulse point, hitting all the right spots.

What do you think? Did she?

* * *

Well I sure am impressed. This fucking restaurant kicks ass! I'm serious the chair are like velvety. Kind of feel like its making love to my ass. Stop it Mikayla! You need to stop hanging out with Lilly look how perverted you are.

"Welcome to Prends un pot. My name is Miley and I will be your waitress tonight." I pull my eyes from Mitchie's breast when I hear this name.

"Oh, hey. I remember you." Nate says in a mocking voice. I kick him under the table and try to ignore Miley. Not that she's looking at me anyways.

"Are you guys ready to order?"

"Not yet…beautiful." What jerks. I didn't have to look up to know that everyone had a smile on their faces. Except Mitchie; I rejected her today again. Why doesn't she get that I'm not gay? Sure I Cocoboomed the heck out of her minutes ago but…shit. Just because we had se doesn't mean I'm gay. It means I need to stop looking at the mirror.

Stupid Cocoboom. Miley leaves not showing one bit of annoyance.

"You guys don't have to be such jerks, I think she knows she looks like a fucking alien already." I say 'defending' her. Mitchie looks at me as if I had a penis plastered to my face. I feel a little bad. She hasn't paid attention to Shane the whole night.

"Aw…" Lilly fakes a pout. "A little defensive aren't we?" I give her a glare and lean in towards her ear.

"I will kick your crotch so hard that you will never have Cocoboom in your life." She only giggles and places a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Please don't." She mumbles between her teeth.

"So…" Oliver starts. "This place is amazing."

"Yeah, dude how are you gonna pay for this." Shane smiles.

"Credit card, duh." Shane looks at me and smiles flirtatiously. Oh great now they both want to do me. It's not like my crotch is made of gold.

"Oh come on, I'm starving." Lilly calls a random waitress that isn't Miley. Her name tag says Patricia.

"May I help you?" She states dryly.

"We're ready to order." She pulls out a pen from her breast and bites the cap off. Ugh, that's gross.

"Ok, I will have the Cap of ribeye steak." Wow look at this food. Looks super mega expensive.

"I will have the Lamb Osso bucco." Sounds yummy why not?

"Ugh, I will have the same please." I don't get to catch what the rest ordered. Why does Miley appear so unexpected. Out of all of the restaurants she _has _to choose this one to work?

The rest of the night passed by smoothly. Mitchie would barely reply to Shane but I could care less. On the other hand Jake would always steal kisses from me and I could see Mitchie's lust for blood. Lilly only watched us in confusion.

"I'm sorry but your card has been rejected, sir." I separate my lips from Jake to look at the older woman.

"Well can you check again there must be a mistake." she rolls her eyes and leaves.

"Shit! Do any of you guys have money?"

"how the hell am I going to have that kind of money?" Oliver mumbles. I start looking inside my bag for some money. I ALWAYS have money.

"Well I have ten bucks." I hold up the money victoriously. Where the hell are they? I stand up and see them running out at full speed out of the restaurant. CRAP! I have to get out of here.

"Well hello there." I look up to see a skinny guy about the age of 40. His tag says manager. For the second time in the day all the attention is on me and I'm not ok with it.

"Hi." I wave at him nervously.

"Follow me." He stops at a hallway. "Where are your friends miss?"

"They left." I crack and my voice does too. The guy mumbles something and the previous waitress comes out with a phone in her hand.

"Ok, give us your parent's number." I frown.

"They are out of the country." The guy nods and taps his finger lightly against the wall.

"Patricia call the--" Miley appears out of nowhere to whisper something in his ear. Please help me I can't go to jail…isn't obvious that I will get raped _hardcore_? "You sure?" Miley nods and the guy leaves our sight.

"Patricia show her to the dishes." What? Dishes? No, hell no.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Dishes dear" Patricia starts off, monotone. "you're washing them."

"I am so not doing dishes." Miley smiles as in giving up. She retrieves the phone from Patricia's hand and begins to dial.

"What are you doing?" I ask nervous in a high pitched voice.

"Calling the cops. It's either one." Crap.

"Ok, I'll do the dishes then." Fucker. I swear I have never met such a big jerk.

It's exactly 12:00 am when I'm done soaping and scrubbing all the dishes. My poor nails. I just got them done about three days ago. They looked so pretty. Now I look like a maid doing all these dishes. A sexy maid… I play with my apron using the spatula as a whip.

"Mikayla _the __**Naughty**__ Maid_." I like it.

Back to the dishes. Seriously why don't these jerks have a dish washer? All these dishes. Now know how my maid must feel like; exhausted, annoyed, and bored to death. I know I am, I've been at this for hours.

"I'm sure Greg is going to love you now." I turn around to see a smiling Miley.

"Why is that?" Miley picks up a towel and picks up a dish that I've already washed and begins to dry it.

"This is his job." I keep on with my wetting but focus on her now.

"Yeah, but I had to do it." She shakes her head.

"Not exactly." I hand her another plate. I'm almost done rinsing all the billion plates and quadrillion spoons and forks that I had to clean.

"…"

"I told my dad to take it from my paycheck." I'm about too smile when I ask myself

"Then why the hell did I do all of these dishes?"

"I kinda owe Greg money."

"But you _have _money. I could have paid you when I got home."

"You're right." She chuckles. "This was funnier though…besides its nice to have a naughty maid once in a while." I blush and elbow her. She saw that? Shit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I cross my hands and she splashes a little water on me.

The ride home was actually fun. Miley has an old car that leaks run ten miles per hour and looks like death on wheels. She doesn't have a radio so randomly I started singing to Don't Trust Me by 3oh!3. She can actually sing though. I wanted to tell her but I just listened.

"So I guess I'll see you then."

"Yeah, guess so." She closes the door to the "car" and stands next to me.

"I owe you big time now." She nods and stares at her house. She's probably thinking of leaving but for some reason I don't want her to. She nice to talk to.

"That you do." I giggle.

"I'm going to have to like become a prostitute to pay you off."

"Well that's nice but…" We're leaning against the old car.

"You need anything? Ask for anything."

"Ok…what the _hell _is Cocoboom?"

**

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	6. Cocoboom Reloaded

**^^**Cocoboom Reloaded**^^**

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**MIKAYLA'S POV:**

Shit, can't she just fucking open her fucking door? I've been here for about a minute and a half. I'm not made to be patient. Besides what the hell is she doing anyways? Reading a book? Who reads books? You know…they don't make you prettier.

Ok, I know this is mean but I don't even know what to think or do after last night. Stupid Cocoboom; because of it I'm in front of Miley's house holding a cake that my mom made for our _neighbors_. Why don't _we_ get any cake? Jerks.

I'm not even going to try to blame my situation on the Stewarts. This all Lilly's fault. I feel like you guys need a flashback…you seem a little puzzled.

* * *

**Twelve hours earlier…**

( In a french accent just like the one in SpongeBob)

I hate it when people drink. Really. I mean, first of all, their breath starts stinking and they act all stupid. That, and you wouldn't CATCH me drunk around random people because you never know who you wind up in bed with. Which is why I was surprised to see Lilly stumbling into my room via my balcony. She of all people knew how I felt about it, but it was easy to forgive her. After all, how could I not forgive my horny best friend?

I watched her pull herself over the balcony with little difficulty, cursing as she fell on her hands and laughing. I folded my arms over my chest, protecting the cold air from making my nipples overly hard. I don't need to masturbate for a third time tonight. Although…

"Heyyyyy chiquita..." she slurred, pulling herself up less than gracefully. Since when do I even speak Spanish? "I gotta show you what I got tonight..." With a rough tug of her shirt, she lifted it over her head and revealed a fresh nipple piercing on her right nipple, the stainless steel ring held in place by a black stone. "Isn't it bad assssss?"

"Lilly what the fuck is wrong with--" She interrupted me as I turned my vision away from her.

She smirked proudly. "S'posed to give awesome sexual pleasure..." I shook my head, admiring the new piece of flesh gear, slightly annoyed that she crashed my house with no warning, If my parents see us I am so dead.

"Looks nice. Let me know how that works out for you..." I rolled my eyes accidentally peering into Miley's bedroom window. She was currently relieving herself of her clothed barrier, standing nude in front of the mirror, observing her naked form. It's odd; I never thought that she would have such a nice form. Her hourglass figure was perfect for her lanky frame, and her heavy breasts stood firm on her tanned body. Why the hell can't I peel myself form her body?

I must not have realized that I was staring, because next thing I know, Lilly's waving a drunken hand in front of my face. "Yoooo hoooooo...earth to Mikaylaaaaaa". She giggled, walking behind me to see what I was staring at. "Ahhhhhh," she piped in realization before drunkenly pressing against my back. "I seeeeee...."

"What exactly are you seeing?" I defended, noting the nipple ring pressed just so into my back. That shouldn't turn me on.

In a lilting, singsongy German accent, her voice sang "You wanna Cocoboom ze Miley one, eh?" Her breath was hot against my neck as she spoke, the scent of whiskey wisped and burned my nostrils.

"WHAT? No WAY!" I turned and looked at her. Ok, she really was drunk if she thought I would do _THAT_with her, of all people. Hasn't she realized how ugly Miley is? Sure she might have a very…pleasant body. It's not like I would actually do her. I already Cocoboomed Mitchie tonight. I'm beginning to think that I'm a sexaho-- I mean Cocoboomaholic. That's kind of a long word…

"No no...don't look at me...look at her" Lilly mumbled. I could tell in her voice that she had something planned. Her arms wrapped around my waist as her hands tickled the waistband of my sleeper shorts. I shivered slightly as I went to turn around to stop her, finding myself still staring at the girl across the way, shocked that her own hands had begun to stroke her belly as she stared into the mirror.

"Wouldn't you like to be there...I bet you would..." Lilly bit my earlobe hard. I jerked. "Hey...no rough stuff." I growled, not wanting marks to be left, or to even BE touched right now. She continued anyways.

"Mikayla honey are--" Lilly unaware to mom's presence keeps taunting my clit. I pull her hand out of my privates.

"Oh my god." I trail my hands in my hair. I can't see myself because of the dim lighting in my room but I bet I was fusing this right moment.

"Mikayla! What the hell is going on?" Oh my god. My mother actually cursed. This has never happened, not even when I crashed her car or that time I was making my own tree house without my dad's help and the tree ended up crushing the back of my house. I guess you can still call it a tree house right?

"You're freakier than I thought but ok." Lilly winks at me and grabs my mom by her waist. She leans in to kiss her and I'm here watching bedazzled. Not in a good way. Lilly arches her back puppy position and deposits all of her nutrients on my mothers pajamas.

* * *

And that is how I'm here. Mom was upset all throughout the night. We had to drive Lilly back home. I don't even want to think what her dad is going to do to her. My mom wasn't that bad about it. I'm her only daughter but she told me that she wanted me to have other types of friends. Friends like Miley Ray Stewart.

Wait why the hell do I know her whole her whole name? Did she even mention it? I mean its ok if she knows my name because who doesn't…I'm so hot It shouldn't be reciprocal.

"Hello…?" The guy I saw at the restaurant about a day or two ago is standing right in front of me confused as hell. He's Miley's dad? But he's hot. He's wearing some shorts and his shirt is off. Dear god looks like the body runs through the family. Ugh, stop thinking about the curves. You're not even bi. Even if you were she's not you're type. If I were bi I would date a girl like Mitchie. Fucking hot.

"Uh, hi I'm Mikayla. I'm your neighbor." He notices that his shirt is far from his chest and crosses his arms across it.

"Oh, um come in." Well this is awkward. I've never thought that Miley's house is so modern. From the outside it looks so normal but the tiles are dark grey almost black but not there. There's a couple of perfectly arranged leather sofas. Black but not gothic at all. They have decorations that repel the darkness from the house. Did I mention that it's freezing? Well it is!

By the time I'm done looking at the house the guy already has a shirt on. You can still see his muscles though. Yum. The man extends his hands after fixing his hair. God, his hair almost as sexy ass mine. Not quite though I bet I can actually make a porn tape with only my hair on it. I shake his hand and smile coquette. Shit, stop flirting he's Miley's dad. I wonder why she's so ugly then. Maybe it's the braces.

"Hi, I'm Robbie ray. I'm Miley's dad. She's told me tons of stories about you." I cock my head sideways. She has? A smile intrusively crawls on my face.

"Yeah I'm sorry about the thing that happened." Maybe I should get a tattoo on my forehead saying I'M SORRY. I've said it like ten thousand times in the last week.

"It's ok."

"Hi there." A women about the same age as Robbie appears out of the kitchen. She's a little shorter than I am, blond and has bright blue eyes. Where did Miley get her eyes from then? They're brown right? "I'm Mary." She kisses my cheek and I'm drowned by her perfume. What the hell is wrong with me? I might as well fuck everyone in the world. First Nate then Jake, Lilly, Mitchie, Amber, Miley's dad, Miley's mom, Mil-- WHAT! I didn't just think about effin Miley!

Um Miley is in her room ya can go ahead up." the man has a southern spice to his voice. I hadn't noticed last night. I nod and make my may up the stairs. He didn't even tell me what room it was. Dumb sexy hillbilly. Robbie Ray was it? Isn't Miley's middle name ray? Aw, that is so cute. I kind of feel jealous now. Why can't my middle name be ray?

What a wide hallway. It's long and wide filled with pictures. I stop at one that captures me. A little girl, Miley of course, holds a kite smiling broadly. She had a nice smile confident and graceful. I've rarely seen her smile though.

A couple of pictures later I'm in front of a dark mahogany door with the name Miley carved out in an ancient font. I knock twice on the wood and wait. I wonder what her room is like. Is it all contemporary like the rest of her house or does she have her own style?

I knock the door again. What the hell is it with me and doors today? While I was coming out of my house I ran into the crystal door that leads out. Earlier in the morning I got to excited after showering in the hot water and ran to my room locking the bathroom door. After doing Titicaca (masturbating) I remember that I left my phone in the restroom, I don't know why, and realized I locked the restroom. My poor iPhone is all alone. Wait do I have an iPhone? I don't even know.

Tired of waiting, I twist the knob and invite myself in. The room is nothing like the house. It looks like it got stolen from some sort of castle. The bed is like my height, ok not so much but it's high, the floor is marble, so clean that It makes me hate myself for stepping on it. Dark shades cover the windows but I can still see the room.

"Miley…?" I draw out almost breathless by all of this beauty. And I though I was beautiful, this room is gorgeous. Maybe we should trade. Laying on the bed is none other than Miley sound asleep. It's so late and she's sleeping? What is she working on her beauty sleep because I don't think it's working.

Miley twist to the other side of the bed in a way that I can see her perfectly. She doesn't look so bad when she's asleep. I brush some hair that fell upon her mouth and kept staring Edward still. The only difference is that I'm not a vampire. I would make a sexy vampire though. Mikayla the sexy vampire. You'll bed for her to suck you.

Miley nibbles on her bottom lip and then gives it a slow lick as in slow motion. I wonder if her lips are as soft as they seem. Maybe I should…find out.

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**Special thanks to Grownup-Truscott!!!! Dude she's amazing she actually gave me a lot to work with. She is amazing!!! I'm going to marry her and forget about Stephanie!!! Seriously she is so fucking good at writing!!**

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	7. If I were the terminator

**^^**If I were the Terminator**^^**

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**MIKAYLA'S POV:**

I'm ten fourths of a centimeter away from Miley's lips. Lips that divert the rationality of my actions and send them far, far away. I shut my eyes ready to press the skin above my chin against hers, I'm not kissing her though.

_There's a mountain between us_

_But there's one thing I'm sure of_

_That I know how I feel about you_

I jolt backwards scared shitless, and my back falls on the hard marble floor. Up on the bed a ruffle of the sheets, Miley is awake and her hands try to find the electronic device. After shutting it her long legs crawl away from her sheets. Is there such thing as being a leg model? I'm lost in my own little P.S.Y.C.H.O. mind. The P in psycho of course stands for perv.

Miley jumps out of her bed with a karate noise, kind of like the one Bruce Lee does, and her legs collide with my stomach knocking the air out.

"Uh!" I yelp. If I were Jackie Chan this right moment I would kick the living crap out of Miley

"Mikayla?" She grips on tighter to her sheets and gets on her knees. "are you ok? W-what are you doing here?" If I could breathe I'd easily answer that! I try to talk but I can only squeal in pain.

Miley looks very preoccupied and rubs my arm up and down. "Breathe slowly." Her voice seems so nurturing, so pleasant. Snap out of it and breathe!

Seconds later I'm sitting up and clutching my stomach. "Ever thought of getting a carpet?" Miley openly laughs. God, I can't believe I was about to kiss her, braces are _so _gross. If I were unlucky enough to be her dentist I would run away from the planet.

* * *

Well I sure as hell am not having a dandy day today. If I were the terminator I would go back in time and kill the person who invented barbeque. I'm here at my backyard with Miley and our families. Right after I went to Miley's house my mother went to make sure that I arrived and my dad just followed. They immediately became the best of friends. What the hell is wrong with them? They just met each other and here they are talking about EVERYTHING!

"Pass the sauce please?" Miley and I are the grill while our parents are blabbing off. After I burnt half of the meat available Miley took control of the grill and I'm only her assistant. If I were Emeril I'd be fine. "Assistant!" I leave my world again. "Please pass the sauce?"

"Here you go…and that's _**sexy**_ assistant for you." She giggles for the fortieth time today. I never knew I was so funny.

"Yeah, whatever." I still can't get over what I tried to do this morning. Do I need Cocoboom that bad?

"How long do you think they'll be at this? They've been talking since 12:30 its 7:00. So annoying." Her smile leaves as quick as it appeared.

"They're that annoying right?" I shake my head exaggeratedly. If I were forced to be an actress there better be some porn involved because I CAN'T act.

"I didn't mean it in that way." She nods without looking up. I am such a jerk sometimes. "Uh, is this going to be done anytime soon? I'm tired." Way to make it better…sexy. Damn it I can't even insult myself.

"Don't worry I'm sure I can survive." Oh, damn it. I did it again didn't I? Let's see: _How can I fix this?_

a.) Cocoboom

b.) Striptease

c.) Slap her

d.) Apologize

e.) Make a joke

f.) All of the above

Let's see I'm not much of a multitasker so no F. I'm not going to randomly have Cocoboom with her in my backyard so no A. I don't even know what apologize means so no D. Although everybody will enjoy letter B I don't want to get her all horny, especially when she has _hotdogs_ right in front of her. Well when you don't got no clue go for C. Wait…do I really want to slap her?

"My backyard is so pretty. Don't you just love all of the trees?" She looks at me as if I have testicles hanging from my chin…I wish.

"You only have one tree."

"Oh, you met her? Well I was talking to her the other day. Do you know what she told me?"

"…"

"Ok, ok, She told me the month that trees hate the most."

"……."

"She said it was Sep-timberrrrrr!" Miley resumes back to her grill as if nothing happened. Well then, maybe I should have gone for C.

"Mikayla honey!" My mother calls out. Great timing Miley was giving me the death glare. If I were Carlos Mencia or any other comedian she probably wouldn't hate me right now. And I thought she thought I was funny.

"Yes mom?" She draws her attention from the Stewarts. God Rob is so hot! If only I were a few years older…

"Could you bring me the album on the cabinet, the one in the living room." I frown. Not again. Every time someone came over she sent me to do something so she could tell her friends embarrassing story of my youth. That's why I don't bring anyone over to meet my parents. Poor Miley, if she thought that my joke sucked then she's going to want to annihilate my parents.

I can still remember when dad thought they could make joke. It was Christmas at the time:

"_Sorry that I couldn't get you those camouflage pants you wanted, I couldn't find any." I sure do hope I'm not as corny as my parents when I grow up. How am I suppose to get married when my fiancé is going to strangle me? _

"_Oh, honey, you're such a kidder." I look around and see no one laugh. I knew I wasn't alone in this!_

"_Say honey remember when I went to Dr. Ovary last summer?" Yes his name is Dick Ovaries. I can tell that my father is making this up-besides the fact that he is a horrible liar-Dr. Ovary I a gynecologist._

"_Yeah."_

"_Well this man was getting a check-up; apparently he had a __**strawberry**__ growing on top of his head. You won't imagine what the doctor told him."_

_Every one sighed at one of his pathetic jokes. My mom was the only one who was "eager" to listen to it. _

" '_I'll give you some cream to put on it.'" _

I think I need to puke. Only thinking about my dad's jokes make me go mad.

I turn to see Miley and find her covering her mouth and shaking. Is she laughing? She didlike the joke! Yes, I survived the Hartward curse! I find my self grinning. That is until I bang my crotch on the edge of a table.

"Fuck…ing…ass fucker…bitch!" I place a comforting hand on my glorious item. If I were a virgin that would have been the end of that. I think I'm going to have to go to Dr. Ovary now. I might be sterile as of now. So much for a world full of beautiful divas and hunks. There's no hope anymore.

I drag myself to the cabinet and grab the heavy albums. I didn't have the patience to think which one my mother wants.

"Here ya go." I throw my mother the albums and sit next to her still injured.

"Aren't you going to help Miley?" I moan. She didn't even notice that I'm disabled.

"I'm tired." that's not the truth. I'm actually just injured, not tired.

"Michael, you guys should take a turn at the grill. The girls are tired." Yes, my dad's name is Michael and my mother's name is Kayla. If you haven't figured it out just yet:

**Michael + Kayla = Mikayla!**

"I'm not tired Mrs. Hartward." Miley replies while she picks at a hotdog. I roll my eyes annoyed and grab her hand".

"Come on let's just take a rest." I hear her make a groaning sound. I think.

"Mikayla, I'm not tired." I smiled at how she said my name. Is this even the first time she says my name? I don't think so…then why am I smirking when seconds ago my crotch was basically tenderized by the _evil _table. I wonder if dad still has that saw. Who am I kidding? After that tree house incident he won't let me _near _any tool.

Miley sits next to her mom in the sofa in front of us. She crosses her legs and I catch a glimpse of her inner thighs. Shit, I need a good fuck. That must be it, because this is just plain desperate. Next thing I know I'll have to start my own little dildo collection. Lilly told me about these ones that are like lollipops because you can eat them and everything!

Shit! I _am_turning into a pervert. I want sex but I don't want Nate or Jake. Ooh, how about Mitchie? All I have to do is text her and she come here at the speed of light.

"Let me show you _these _pictures." My mother opens a green photo album. "Miley dear, come see." Miley stands up sending a rush of paranoia thought my whole body.

"Actually, I was thinking--"

"I know what you were thinking, you're not getting out of this one." She motions at Miley. "Come."

"Sure."

"aw, she always was a true catch. Why is she crying though?" My mother is laughing.

"You see, her friend Mitchie had a birthday party and Mikayla went. Well it just so happens that the neighbor had a pit-bull. Very large animal. Mikayla wanting to pet the animal jumped over the fence fell on the animal. The dog bit her bums."

"She has the scars to prove it too!" Of course dad had to but in. if I were a balloon I would just float away from this.

"Dad…" He didn't stop laughing to my displeasure. Instead he reenacted the whole scene. JERK!

"That's funny." Miley giggled out.

"If you think that's fu--" I jump out of my seat and drag Miley out of this mess. I just met her I can't have her know all of this embarrassing facts about me. Only Mitchie knew that! In seconds we were in my room. I can see that she's completely unimpressed.

"Well this is my room. Ta-da."-I reply sarcastically and fall on backwards on my mattress. Miley stays standing just were she is. "Don't just stand there, come on." I motion towards the bed and she shakes her head.

"It's ok." I stand up and walk to her. For the second time I pull her and make her sit next to me.

"Sorry about today. I really didn't want my parents to come here and act so weird." she nods looking away towards my window.

"They're actually really funny." My jaw drops.

"You think _they're _funny but _I'm _not? You're joking right?" She only scoffs and pull out her ipod. She puts her headphones on, ignoring me? What!? She looks at me visibly annoyed and hands me a headphone. I steal the device from her hand and she 'glares' at me. Let's see what kind of music she has. "About you now" by Miranda Cosgrove, "Don't trust me" by 3OH!3. I never knew how to pronounce their name. I mean why can't they name their selves something normal. Like "The Mikayla's." They would make so much money.

"Wait, I like this one." She take's the ipod and scrolls down.

"Which one?"

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

_Leading you down into my core._

_where I've become so numb. _

_Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold _

_until you find it there and lead it back home._

_This _song? Isn't this like a bazillion years old? I guess it's ok.

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_bid my blood to run_

_(I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_save me from the nothing I've become _

I took the ipod from her hands.

"Hey!"

"I liked this like back in the day. Let's put something else on."

"Ok, I'll put something you'll like." She takes her ipod again.

_I found god_

_On the corner of first and Amistad_

_Where the west was all but won_

_All alone, smoking his last cigarette_

_I Said where you been, he said ask anything_

_Where were you--_

"No ma'am. No. The Fray? Seriously? Now _this _is what I call music."

_I'm hot,_

I point a finger at me.

_you're cold_

Then I point a finger at her.

_You go around like you know_

_Who I am, but you don't_

_You've got me on my toes_

_I'm slippin into the lava_

_And I'm tryin keep from goin' under_

_Baby, who turned the temperature hotter?_

_'Cause I'm burnin up, burnin up for you baby_

_C'mon girl._

I'm about to grind on my bed when Miley pauses the song. Oh no she didn't mess with my Jo-jo brothers.

"I think there's something burning."

I start in a singsong voice. "_I'm_ burning up, burn--"

"I'm serious!" She stands up from my bed and I follow her. Oh gawd, she is right. Something _is _burning up and it's _not _my crotch…only.

* * *

I tripped down the stairs, fell by the family room, and banged into the screen door trying to keep up with Miley. And I thought _I _was fast.

We finally reach the backyard and dad's laughing with Rob at something while our barbeque is _burning up. _Oh my god fire! Miley went inside my living room. What the hell? Why would she leave me alone? All I know how to do is stop, drop and roll.

I'm about to drop when I spot a glass of water I quickly grab the glass and throw it at the grill. The flame reaches towards my face and I'm heaved to the left. I fall on the floor a little startled. Miley sprays the foamy thing on the fire. Crap, I owe her even more now. There's a little bit of the liquid, which I'm pretty sure is not water, on the floor.

Whisky? I threw whisky at the fucking fire? What the hell is wrong with me? If Miley wasn't to throw me on the floor my face would have been burned up alright. I don't think I like that song anymore.

"Honey are you ok?" I frown as I take her hand.

"As long as dad **never**sets his foot near a grill in his life then I'll be ok." Miley finally turns out the fire. Shit, I scraped my hand.

"I'm sorry." I look up to see an ashamed miley?

"Are you serious? I'd rather have this than my face _burning up._" She smiles.

"Honey you're bleeding. Let me go get you something for that." What she should have done is paid attention to the meat. I'm getting a little hungry.

"Actually Mrs. Hartward. I'll be happy to do it." I give Miley a confused smile. You know she kind of goes along with that song by Evanescence. Miley finds _any_ way possible to save me. Now that she saved my beautiful face it's serious. I owe her big time.

"Thank you _so_much honey." My mother wraps her arms around Miley and I feel a little jealous. _I _should be hugging her.

My mom lets go of Miley and I grab her hands and lead her inside the house again. I just hope this time I'll find them alive when I get back. I lead Miley to the restroom in the first floor. After I close the door I notice her a little nervous. I know this room is a little small but...

"You claustrophobic?" I stand a feet away from her.

"You can say that." I raise a brow. Miley grabs my injured hand and examines it after opening the tap water. I flinch taken aback by the temperature. She whispers a barely audible apology.

"S'okay." She shuts off the water and lightly presses a towel on my injury. She's careful, very meticulous as she does this. "The kit's under the sink." Alcohol, what are the odds, alcohol is what did this to me and now it has the nerve to mock me this way. I hate pain. Miley sees this and cautiously bandages the small, small injury. I thought it would be bigger but it's finger-length.

Miley rushes out of the restroom. I guess she really _is _claustrophobic.

* * *

So we're at a restaurant. Been here for hours actually. After that disaster my mother said that we could buy some more meat and cook at Miley's house. **I almost had a heart attack!!! **My family is NEVER getting near fire. Over my dead body. That's how we ended up here.

Miley and I have been talking the night away. She's nice to talk to. Funny too. I envy her now, me and my corny self, I never make her laugh at my jokes. It's the curse of the Hartwards!

"You too haven't touched your food. Cut the chatting and chew your food." Miley's mom, who's name I don't remember, says. We obey her for a little while but we strike up a conversation in seconds.

Miley and I talked about lots of stuff. I talked more than she did though but she didn't get mad. Rather she listened carefully not taking her eyes off me once. She told me that she likes to sing but has never tried to become famous. I hope I can get to hear her sing.

"Let's go girls it's super late." Rob stands up and I groan. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay here and just talk with Miley. I could sense that she wanted the same.

"I don't think I want to go just yet." I smiled at this and had a great idea. The restaurant has a chocolate machine. Not just a chocolate machine but a _white _chocolate machine! We restricted ourselves from showering in it just because our parents were here. Well_ I _did. If I were Pamela Anderson I would so make a porn video with white chocolate all over me. Then again…who the hell would believe that it's really white chocolate?

"Come on." I walk towards she fountain and she follows me confused.

"Mikayla, we're leaving." I stop in front of the fountain.

"It'll be just a second, relax. They won't forget us." I grab a strawberry from the tray and bite the tip. "Oh, come on. Get one." Doubtful she reaches for a strawberry. She bites the whole thing. What a powerful cavity.

"This is amazing." I nod and look around to see if anyone can see me. The coast is clear. I open my mouth under the stream of white gooiness.

"Mikayla." She hisses. I giggle and keep on enjoying. If I were Dora the explorer I would store some of this in my backpack. Ugh, Dora is so ugly though.

"Get some." She looks at me as if I'm stupid.

"Uh, no I'm ok." What a party-pooper!

"Please, trust me it's amazing!" She turns around to leave and I grab her wrist. "Just drink some." I try to force her playfully.

"Mikayla, I don't want any."

"Yeah right." I 'playfully' pushed her towards the fountain.

"Mik--" **Holy white-and-fluffy-nice-but-with-a-hint-of-naughty-but-not-so-naughty-tities-dangling-on the-floor-cow!!! **Miley and I accidentally flipped the fountain to the floor. Broken glass every where. Miley and I lock eyes. We dart speedy Gonzalez style away from the scenery. Hopefully we'll just leave and our parents won't ask anything.

Miley and I stop at the parking lot. Our parents were nowhere to be seen.

"Déja vu?" One tenth of a millisecond later I ran my ass away from there, Miley behind me. Even **if** I were the terminator; I _won't_ be back.

* * *

**sO YEAH THIS HAS BEEN DONE FOR A LONG TIME I JUST WANTED TO YOU KNWO UPDATE IT NOW!**

**SO YEAH, YOU KNWO WHO I PROMISE THAT CHAPTER YOU WANT WILL BE THE NEXT CHAPETER!!! yOU GUYS I WILL GET ANOTHER UPDATE SOON. PLEASE LEAVE THOSE YUMMY COMMENTS. **

_**PS GUYS: i PROMISE YOU GUYS I WILL PUT SOME MORE PLOT TO THE STORY. TIME WILL GO BY AND THERE WILL BE SOME MIKILEY SOON. IM TO TIRED. CAN'T EVEN TYPE ANY MORE!!! I WILL BRING LILLY AND MITCHIE BACK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!! **_


	8. How it all started

**^^**How it all started**^^**

* * *

"Can we please stop I don't think we're being followed anymore?" Miley was bent with her hands resting on her kneecaps. Is she serious? We've _only_ ran about three blocks.

"Miley hurry!" A couple of guys from the restaurant were following us. For the past…minute? I can't believe she's so weak.

"I can't run in high heels."

"Miley's you're not wearing any heels." I grab her wrist and try to get her to run. What the hell is wrong with mom? How the hell did she forget about Miley and I?

"Oh…well let's just give up. Nothing can be worse than this. I'm exhausted and hungry." I smacked her arm.

"We don't have a phone and we're getting followed. I don't know about you but I don't want to get raped!" I basically drag Miley up to a very crowded street. If I were Superman I could just fly us home. That would be freaking hot!

"Wait. Let's just get a taxi. When we get home my dad will just pay for it. I _can't _run anymore." I agreed and made a signal to a cab. He stopped and Miley and I hopped in the back seat

"Good morning mon beau." Oh, he's like French right? Well who the hell cares?

"Uh, it's nighttime." Miley closes the door. I look out the window and see that a delivery boy from the restaurant is lingering on the light searching for us.

"Oui, but it is 12:03"

"Well can you go already? We're in a hurry" The guy presses the pedal and shots off full speed. I felt as if I'm part of a James Bond Movie. Yay! The guy makes a sharp turn. Miley knocked me to the right with her body.

"Ouchie." She tries to settle herself back where she was but the guy makes another turn this time I knock her sideways. So how about them seatbelts? I know _I_want to live.

"Not my fault."

"Sir, I don't think you need to go so fast, I mean living is more important."

"I thought you girls were in a hurry. Party tonight?"

"Uh, kinda." I _wish. _However we have school tomorrow.

"You girls are trés jolie." What the hell is he talking about? Miley looks at me confused. Maybe he likes braces. "You girls want a party? I'll show you a party. I take you to my house."

"What? No, no, we're good thanks." We're now full speed. Is he like serious? He's so ugly I don't even think Miley deserves a guy like him.

"Maybe you should drop us off, sir." the light is on yellow and monsieur what-ever-his-name-was speeds up. I thin we're going at the speed of light. Or what ever speed gives you a major wedgie. I'm scared to take it out in front of Miley.

"What do you mean? I'm going to slow right? This car is so slow." And my mother was going to marry a French guy. Ok, no she didn't I just wanted to make my life more interesting. Anyways this guy is psycho.

"Um, sir--"

"Don't call me that, call me by my name: Vincent Dominique."

"Ok, 'Vince you can just drop us off at the next right…please." He glances at us from the mirror, his eyes red. '

"Mikayla he's drunk!" Miley whispers and screams at the same time. I will call it scrispers! Yay I made a new word!

"He _is_?" I actually whisper back.

"Yes, Mikayla we have to get off. Either that or we could have an accident." Well he is driving fast _and _reckless. Ooh, turn-on. Wait, did she say accident. Oh hell no!

"Don't worry we'll get there in no time girls." Not if he keeps on driving we won't. I look up and see the light change to red.

"Red light! Red light!" He hit's the break pedal instantaneously. Yes! I grab Miley's tiny wrist with a hand and open the door with the other. She looks a little startled as we get off the taxi. I don't let go off her though. We have to get far away from this French bastard. And I used to love French bread. Ok, I never loved French bread. You won't give it a rest will ya?

I turn to see a screaming Vincent, head out of the window and everything calling at us. "You don't know--" Oh my god, he ran over a red light again. I, giving less of a shit turn around only to hear the music that colliding metals make. The alarm from one of the cars goes off and I hear the other driver 's complaints. Gold old France.

"Come on Miley." I swear if my crotch grew legs it would so be faster than her.

"I'm tired" What? One block, we ran ONE block. I'm not exaggerating.

"Come on! Do it for your virginity. That psycho could turn around and get us any time, Miley." Miley immediately passes me in a matter of milliseconds. I'm guessing she _is _a virgin.

* * *

Miley and I run for about twenty minutes and this time I'm the one who's tired. My leg is cramping up! Heck, if I knew she could run so fast I wouldn't have made that virginity reference. At least it stopped raining. Ok, it was only drizzling but still. You know how exaggerated I can be.

"Miley I seriously don't think that he's following us." She only laughs and pulls on my wrist. We're only about fifteen minutes away from our houses. Looks like it rained harder around here. There's still a couple of puddles around here. Ugh, it's getting in my shoes!

"Come on Mikayla, if we run home we can get there in less than ten minutes."

"Miley you must be crazy if you think that I'm running faster than this. Unless you carry me." She scoffs at this. Damn I actually thought it was a great idea.

"And I'm the crazy one."

"Did you just call me crazy?" I stop running hands on my hips and she jogs away. "Miley come back here!"

I only hear her low giggle and I sprint towards her and climb on her back.

"Mikayla get off. You're heavy!" She struggle under my weight and I'm only snickering on to p on her.

"Faster horsie!"

"Mikayla…" She groans. "I'm serious get off." She throws me off her back and I land on a sexy pile of mud. Well how nice.

"Mikayla I am _so _sorry." Ugh, my back is probably all dirty. Mud is so gross! I can't believe she did this.

"Why don't be." She tries to run away but I'm a bit to fast for her. I quickly pull her by her leg and she falls similar to me. "Oops." I say in a preppy voice that that she identifies to quick.

"You did that on purpose!" She's trying to get up but now that I see it this is kind of fun. In a disgusting kind of way.

"No, but _this_ I will do on purpose." I splash some mud on her shirt and giggle.

"Wha--" She grab a fist full of mud, twigs included, and smear it on her face. "Nothing like a mud mask to revive your skin." She uses a voice similar to those girls in proactive. That's when I press her back against the mud and make me eat mud. Doesn't take that bad. Wait, is that an **ahh!!! **I spit out all the contents in my mouth to the side. I actually had a bug in my mouth I think that I'm going to puke.

"Miley you better _run_." her knees don't even stretch out half a degree from the ground before I'm I straddle her to the floor. I do the same to her face taking all of the mud and smacking it to her face. She, though, doesn't just stay there she tries to flip me over but when she notices that it doesn't work her hands go on either side of my waist.

""What are you trying to sed--" Her fingers worked harshly to make me laugh eagerly. "Sto--" Even when I'm wiggling under her body Miley doesn't stop she instead intensifies the whole thing. "Miley!" I wish she could just stop. I'm about to look like one of those ugly buff woman by laughing so much. Ugh.

"You're not going to get back at me?" Pfft, yeah.

"No!" If she doesn't stop I am going to puke all over the place.

"You promise?" I nod. She let's go and is on her back is away from the ground while her breast are against the mud. Where is a camera when you need it? "You promised!"

"I almost swallowed a worm because of you!" I grab her face and press it to the ground.

Anyone that messes with my perfect denture deserves to die. Ok, I think she's had enough. I let her go and her eyes show a side of her that I didn't wan to see. Darn it. I get off her and try to run for my life but as I'm crawling away she grabs my legs, flips me over. Ooh, oral!

The brunette splashes the mud all over me and I try to fight back any way I can. Mud is flying all over the place. Getting in places that light barely strikes.

With Miley on top of me, obviously winning this fight I think it's time for me to give up. Well now that my hair is messed up, my boob size has increased due to all of the mud inside my bra and I look like a girl who has spent over a decade in a swamp, of course.

"Please, stop." I whine. The girls face then lights up. "bully."

"I'll remind you that your cowboy antics were the real motive of starting this."

"Ok, Einstein. Just get off." I push her off bleakly and her face lands on the mud again. Ok, I am not going though this again.

It took us about two or three minutes to get home. Some way, some how I ran faster than the roadrunner. Ah! Home sweet home.

"Finally." Miley says panting. Apparently she forgot about the whole ordeal. Hey I'm not complaining. Miley is a heck of a fighter.

"I wonder if they even noticed we were gone all of this time." She smiles. "Well I guess I have to go now." Damn. She nods and walks away. "Excuse me? Aren't you going to walk me home?" She shakes her head and walks toward me. I grab her muddy hand and lead her to the front door".

"Well see you tomorrow." I don't let go of her hand though.

"Why don't you spend the night?"

"…"

"I mean look at you. Do you really want to mess up your house with all of this mud? Come fuck up mines." She giggles. "I'm serious." Cue my 'serious' face.

"Ok."

And that's how it all started.

* * *

**OMG, omg, omg. I updated???? What? What?? Please review because let me just tell you that the story after this chapter is going to be intense. I mean IS Mikayla going to fall for Ugly Miley? *giggles because i just said the name of the story***** Then what's going to happen to Mitchie? So many more things will happen. **

**I will tell you guys a secret though a month or so will go by fro next chapter. **


	9. Badonk

^^*Badonk**^^

* * *

Lilly's POV: Finally!

I knew this couldn't have happened. Nothing like this has ever happened before. In fact, I pity myself. Who gets denied by a guy? I mean it's not like it was obvious that he is gay; nonetheless, why not turn straight for Lilly? It does happen the other way around so I don't get why I got denied by Justin.

"You see, there's something about him that says 'I like it up the butt.'" And then there's old cynical Mikayla.

"Maybe he's related to you." Miley ooh's at my come-back and I fell like shutting her up too.

"What are you ooh-ing about at least-" he doesn't look like a monkey's ass ran over by a porcupine going at 200 miles per hour. Maybe it was the heartbreak or the fact that I love the girl to death but I stop myself. Although in her eyes, I can see she knew nothing good was about to leave my lips.

"At least what?" Mitchie walks into the room with a bag of popcorn and a bag of twizzlers in her mouth.

"You just missed it, Mitch. Our beautiful flower got denied by a dude." Mitchie's left brow arches and she plops down next to Mikayla pushing Miley out of the way. Ooh, orgy.

"Is it true?" She feigns astonishment and groan annoyed.

"Yes, but only because he hasn't seen me naked yet." Mikayla pronounces full of glory.

"I want a hotdog." Mitchie complains. "You have some in your house?

"What's so special about _you_ anyway? So your left nipple looks like it's winking at me, big deal." Mikayla gasps, offended and proceeds to molest herself in front of all of us.

"That's not true."

"Then why are you inspecting yourself?"

"I'm going to go get some hotdogs. Where's your keys, Lilly?" This loony and those hot-dogs.

"I'll have you know that I _love_ rubbing my nipples for no absolute reason."

"It's from the absence of cocoboom."

"Fuck you, ok? I don't need to get laid. I don't turn guys gay like you do. One look at my face and a guy will have jerking material for his life. Meagan F-"

"Mikayla, stop It ok. Can't you see she's sensitive." And that is one of the reason why we quickly accepted Miley into our little clique. Than and the fact that Mikayla wants to bang the daylights out of her. She just doesn't want to accept it yet. Does she ever?

"Seriously, you can be a little meanie sometimes." Mitchie rips a piece of twizzler and almost chokes on it. Dumb bitch.

"No, just leave her. Let her insult me. I deserve it all."

"Fine, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you" She takes a deep breath and takes my hand. "Let's go, cocoboom." This bitch.

I simply glare at her even though I will rain check the cocoboom.

"So…hotdogs?"

* * *

"Why couldn't you just take a quick fuck?" Miley squints at this and I laugh. Mitchie, though, stuffs the fourth, I think, hotdog down her throat. What a hog.

"Excuse me, did you forget we have a baby on board?" I say pointing at Miley.

"I have a question, How the hell are we going to get inside a gay bar when we're women?"

"That's easy. There's my dad's luggage on the back. He gets thrown out so many times he just leaves it here."

"What?" They all ask synchronized.

"Ooh, N'syc up in here. Do it again."

"Lilly, who the hell is going in there?" Mikayla asks laughing.

"You, duh."

"In case you haven't noticed I will get caught in a heart beat. It's like sending Megan Fox in." That's kind of true. I wish this bitch were ugly.

"Man why can't any of you be…" Shit, Miley. Can't use the word 'ugly' around her. "More helpful."

"Why can't _you_ go?"

"Justin will recognize me, you just can't forget this face."

"Trust me, I've tried." Whore.

"Well, then. Don't help me. Let me live an unhappy house. I'll just have to forget the man of my dreams. You terrible excuses for friends."

"We wish we could help you but we just can't."

Trying to stop my 'sobs' I talk. "Yes you can."

"What?"

"Well he doesn't know you. I'm not saying you look like a guy because you don't" _You do_. "But you're my only hope." Miley looks at the two girls for advice and they nod too. Only because they don't want to do it themselves. If only they weren't incredibly feminine.

"All you have to do is look at who he's with and take a picture of them together." So then I can beat the shit out of whoever is stealing my man.

"But what if I get caught?"

"We'll have to kick some ass. You know I wouldn't leave my girl in there." I am probably going to kiss some ass anyways. So yes I would beat some ass for her.

"Crap, this is all your fault Mikayla." Miley snaps at Mikayla but the other puts her hand in Miley's face.

"Bitch, blame it on the alcohol."

"…"

"…"

"…" That wasn't funny.

"Fucking Hartward curse." She mumbles and I just laugh. She's so cute sometimes. No, I don't like her, in more than a physical way. But I must admit there's moments when just want to hug her for being so cute.

"Come on, Miley take your shit off." Miley's eyes widen.

"Lilly!"

"Fine, take your shirt off. No guy would wear that. In fact I wouldn't either." I pull random pieces from my dad's luggage and Mikayla starts unbuttoning Miley's shirt while the girl seems as if she might die right there.

"I don't even know what he looks like." This girl thinks I'm going to get her away. I quickly look for a picture of the boy in my phone.

"Remember this face, Miley. I need you to take pictures for me ok? CLEAR pictures." Not like fucking Mikayla. The girl can't take a good picture of a mannequin.

"Man, your dad has no style at all. Look at these pants. They're for a teenage girl." I glare at Mitchie.

"Those are mine, bitch. In fact, Miley here." I toss the pants at the girl.

"These are for girls."

"Or, a very gay man." Mitchie connects eyes with me and laughs.

"I think you forgot about her badonk.." Mitchie replies dumbly.

"You need to hang out around gay people more. Having a big ass just means that you do anal a lot." I need to teach these girls more things.

"Where did you learn that, urban dictionary?" Bitch, I made urban dictionary.

"Actually I got it from Oliver. He's as gay it gets."

"The only thing he has is a Badonka-don't, that kid has a flat ass." Oh hell no she didn't mess with my Oliver. I practically raised that kid, although he _is_ older than me.

"Badonka-shutthefuckup."

"That's why you don't got a badonka-boyfriend, you badonka-bitch." I finally snap and jump from the driver seat and attack Mikayla.

"I think I'm just going to-" The collision of metal pauses our feud and we can only catch a glimpse of our friend.

"Fuck."

* * *

"Where the hell is this girl? It doesn't take her…" I look at my phone, that hasn't received a message, and it's 9:12. "Twenty-er… Twenty-eight minutes to take a freaking picture."

"Maybe they found her attractive."

"Shut up, Mitchie."

"She doesn't exactly know who he is. Shit, what if something happened to her? Do you know what this means?"

I keep on refreshing my inbox hoping there's a technical error of some sort. "What, you'll have to dig up the tomb and fuck her?"

"No, I left my hairbrush in her bedroom last night. Shit, and she'll probably get cremated anyways. If the fire doesn't run away." This bitch.

"You two…wait, what were you doing in her bedroom last night Mikayla?" Mikayla's caught in the headlights.

I too was interested in what Mikayla was to say but my phone started vibrating "I got a text! SHUT THE FUCK UP"

_I think I have him. _

"She got him." I quickly types a short response.

_And…?_

The phone vibrated in a matter of three seconds.

_He's sort of with someone. Still want the picture? _

"This bitch. Of course I want the picture."

"Crap. I only have two hotdogs left." My patience is running low with these bitches.

"Mitchie, I will choke you if you don't shut up."

I take my phone and approve of the picture. Then the phone vibrates again and I receive a picture.

"What the fuck?"

"Ooh, can I see?" Mikayla steals the phone from me and Mitchie quickly peaks behind her.

"Oh."

"Oliver? Wh- Oliver. What the hell?" Before having to listen to another joke I open the door only to be held captive in my own car. "Lilly, no. Where are you going?"

"Mikayla let go."

"Don't you get it? He fucking stole Justin away from me."

"I know," Then why are you stopping me? "but we're girls. We can't get in there."

"Miley got in there why can't we? We'll act like we're transvestites. We'll just…steal some of Miley's make up."

"You are officially handicapped." I zip open Miley's purse and exaggerate all my makeup like a true transvestite.

'Trust me, you don't have the balls to do this. Literally, you don't have the package." Quickly, I snatch a hotdog from Mitchie's plate.

"Oh fuck no, give it back!" I whipe the hotdog free of it's condiments and stuff it down my skinny jeans.

"Actually, that's not too bad. I've always wanted to go a gay bar anyway." Mikayla, too, grabs a hot-dog and does the same.

"What is wrong with you guys? I am not-"

"There's none left anyways." Mikayla and I step out of the car.

"You're leaving me alone?" I simply nod. Then Mikayla steps out of the car.

"You'll just be the one with a sex change."

So we're in this incredibly long line. I didn't even know there could be so many gay in the world. We're all super desperate to get in and get this over with. I tried to skip a couple of people but it's like they have something up their asses. Get it?

"Names?" A guy in a butterfly suit asks. _This_ is security. As if to hear my thoughts a huge dude with a muscular body and a piercing on his nose stands behind him.

"Margarita." says Mitchie.

"Brujita." says Mikayla. She's as smooth as a porcupine.

"Lily." I say. Mitchie and Mikayla look at me perplexed but they look at Mikayla a little weird. I knew that bitch should have stayed in the car.

"Have fun, 'girls'." I smile internally and walk inside bombarded with the completely expected song of "I'm Blue."

Oh something is going to be blue alright, _black_ and blue.

* * *

So Question of the night (or w/e time it is):

**How do you want to get revenge on Tomatoes for making you wait so long?**

**A.) Locking her up in a room with Demi Lovato**

**B.) Making her write an update in the time frame of 3-5 days **

**C.) I don't want revenge on her, she's nice!**

**D.) Kill the hoe.**

Don't forget to tell me what you liked about the update and more stuff you want to tell me. Do not forget that I love you guys!


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